2018 Family Moto

35 They were desirous to be baptized as a witness and a testimony that they were willing to serve God with all their hearts; Mosiah 21:35

"Make sure they remember joy yesterday, experience joy today, and anticipate joy tomorrow."

Motherhood Mission Statement

To provide a loving environment that is centered around God and His commandments while effectively teaching my children to love, honor, and respect all Men no matter the race, creed, or background.

Click on Nolen's name to hear our amazing journey through autism.

Friday, May 23, 2008

Friends vs Family

Are friends more important than family?

This is a time tested question, but before you answer think about it for 30 seconds. I mean really put some thought in to it. Now that you have thought about it, I will tell you my answer. I have recently run into more problems with my "friends". Is it easy to rely on someone? Not really. Is it easy to rely on family? That depends.

I have spent 26 good years with my family and about 99% of the time they have stood right beside me helping me succeed in life. If I need something my parents are always there. My sisters have always been comforting and my brothers always charge up good laughter. I think I have been very blessed when it comes to family. I have also been blessed with my in-laws. I am currently living for FREE with them, so I can not complain at all. My in-laws have also been very helpful in the last two years supplying Stephen and I with food, shelter, and love.

OK, so now to the meat and potatoes. I have been slightly overly depressed the last six months of my existence because of the 700+ miles between my spouse and I. This distance has inevitably distanced me from every human around me. I spend more time alone than is deemed healthy for a human. My sadness spreads easily. Don't read into this, I don't want sympathy, just needed to explain my thoughts. Well my friends have decided they are sick of me, they can no longer "deal" with me. I can't blame them, but should I still rely on them for happiness? It turns out that answer has already been chosen for me. They don't want me to rely on them. Not any more.

I guess what is comes down to is no matter what, my family has smiled and helped me through everything. My friends have completely walked away from me because of selfish pride. You decide: Friends over Family or visa versa.

Monday, May 12, 2008

Kendra and Micheal are engaged!

I took some pictures for my little sister and her fiancee this weekend in the mountains. I wanted to share them with my friends that are not on myspace or facebook. They are a cute couple and will be sealed in the Salt Lake City Temple May 31st. I am so excited for her to get married and start a little family in Provo Utah. Kendra is the baby of the family and it is hard to see her grow up only because it makes me realize I am getting older. She is truly an angel. Kendra has always had a great personality that makes everyone around her laugh. She is marrying an awesome man who compliments her personality. Enjoy!

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Moving to Albuquerque

Stephen and I packed up our cute little condo in Gilbert Arizona and moved into a small apartment in New Mexico. The adventure was eventful to say the least. We woke up at 6 am on Saturday with most of the house completly packed up, then members from our awesome ward helped pack us up onto one of my parents large Ford trucks. After scrambling to load 90% of our furniture we realized things were going to be left behind. All of my clothes and well "stuff" was left behind as we made the seven hour drive to Albuquerque. We made it toAlbuquerque before furniture started blowing off the truck. We lost a night stand, a water jug, and well some more stuff. I have included a few pictures from our great adventure and hope that living there will not be as bad as moving there. So far Stephen loves it and loves his job. So I guess no reason to complain, right?

Thursday, May 1, 2008

myspace blog

Where do I begin?
I wish that I could explain exactly how I feel right now. How can I explain how empty I feel with out saying that I feel full? That obviously makes no sence, but living alone has been a challenge I didn't know I needed. I seem to be walking around in a cloud again, completely unaware of anyone around me. I feel like some type of a zombie who only awakens for brief moments during the day and then my mind shuts off again.
Stephen has been gone for nerely 5 months. Technically I should be used to sleeping in an empty large house alone. However, I am no closer to sleeping peacefully then I was December 14th, the day he left. I listen to many voices over the phone all day, then I hear his voice for ten minutes or less. This is no where near what my mind needs. It is useless to try and drag a conversation out longer than it needs to be, we would end up sitting silently while waisting our precious cell phone minutes. It is impossible to know what he is thinking when I can not read his face, I can only hear his voice and assume he misses me just as much as I miss him.
I hit a car the other day. I think that is when I realized I was actually a zombie, or a soul-less person. I couldn't even concentrate long enough to drive normally. I just had to back into a car to make my life a tiny bit more complicated. I can tell, all over my face, how stressed I really am; yet, somehow I manage to lie to myself long enough to make it through the day at work, then I am completely silent at home without a bed or television to take the pain away.
I realized what has made my pain even more unbearable. I started reading... Not just any book, but a book that is a complete fantasy, so far fantastic that it makes me want what the main character in the book has: "true love". I do have true love, but he is far far far away!
I may even be a bit jealous of this "bella" character. She seems to have it all and doesn't even realize how great it is. I loved the second book in the series when he went away, that felt so real to me. It felt good, good to see her in my pain, going through those emotions. But all good things must come to an end and of course her "true love" comes back and they live happily ever after... all the way through the damn third book!! Just in case you were wondering, LIFE does not turn out that way, it is FAR from what you would actually imagine.
I honestly thought marriage was going to be some fairytale. Sure I had been told it was no picnic, but I did not listen, not even for a second. It would take away from the happiness I thought I was going to feel once I was sealed in the Temple. Don't get me wrong, I am happier now, but I saw it differently. The fairytale has left me complete broke and a little bit heart broken. I bet no one would get married if they knew they were going to suffer more than they thought possible as a singleton.
Living single has it perks, you dream. I dreamt about how perfect my life would be, how perfect my little house and children would be. I dreamt about my husband having the most perfect job that made me happy and him happy. I dreamt that he loved children and loved me more. I dreamt that I was going to get to call all of the shots and somehow we would just be an amazing power couple together. Dreaming is what kept me going after passing through 5 intense years at BYU. I got to dream that I was saving myself for the most incredible experience: Marriage.
Ok, so that seems a little off the subject of my new and constant pain, because my life is fantastic. I am merely trying to say that it is not fantastic in the way I had once imagined, not even close. I can't keep reading books that are too perfect or watching romantic movies that make women believe these perfect type of men actually exsist. The moments that are supposed to happen never do. I don't care who you are, things do not turn out how you think they will, if you are reading this saying to yourself that I am wrong, please don't continue to dilude yourself.
I am; however, truly happy in my life, just a little misunderstanding, I guess. I thought somehow I would just discover my path and that would be it... little did I know I would actually have to work for what I wanted. I will accomplish my goals someday, just a little behind schedule I think. I have found true happiness in my marriage and it did take longer than I thought it would. I can understand why so many people are scared to fully commit to another person. It is a true sacrifice only the strongest people will make in their lives and hold true to.
None of this really makes sense, so I will try to sum it up. LIFE IS NOT A FAIRYTALE! I guess I could have just said that and been done with it, now you know too much of my personal anguish and will probably wonder what is wrong with me. Nothing is wrong: everything is right, it just took twenty six years to figure out.
Happiness is not around the corner, it is staring you in the face.

Joining Up

Seems like everyone is blogging these days, so I figure I will join up because I don't have much else to do. Stephen and I are currently living apart. Don't worry, we are not separated by choice. Stephen was hired by the FAA in November as an Air Traffic Controller. This meant that he had to go to training in Oklahoma City until April then start on the job training in New Mexico.

I currently work for the University of Phoenix as an Enrollment Counselor and have been there for three years. Stephen is finishing the last three classes in his bachelors degree program in communication. What this means to me? Well he receives a discount as long as I am employed with the University, so here I sit, in Arizona hoping that he will graduate soon.

Separation has been painful to say the least. I have learned a lot about myself and didn't realize that I had some more growing to do ALONE! I wrote a long blog about being alone on myspace, but realized that a lot of my friends were actually blogging. SO, I guess I will write my loneliness on blogspot. A popular site for families with children. As you can see, NO children.

Well until I decide I am bored enough to blog again. Peace to my homies doing time!