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6 And I was led by the Spirit, not knowingbeforehand the things which I should do.

7 Nevertheless I went forth...

1st Nephi Chapter 4:6-7

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Thursday, August 11, 2011

E&N

Sometimes I wonder why we are given specific trials in our lives...
I have a tendency to have little to no patience. That's right. I admit it.
Edward has been sick. Real sick. He has basically been sick since January. Consistently going to the doctor to get more medicine for, yet, another ear infection. We have tried all different types of medicine. We have tried all at home remedies. We have tried just about everything. Edward got an ear infection right before we went to San Diego in June. I made an appointment to see a specialist. We finally got in to see the specialist and he confirmed that Edward should get tubes put in his ears. We had to see another doctor to test Edward's hearing and found out that he only hears about 70% of the time and when he can hear us it is as if we are speaking under water. Edward will get tubes August 25, 2011.
For now, August 25th might as well be in the year 2050! Every single day brings more excruciating pain for Edward. He screams, he cries, he throws tantrums, and worst of all he hits his brother. I am seriously at the end of my rope when it comes to discipline. I have tried everything. EVERYTHING. I keep saying silent prayers that once Edward has his tubes his attitude will change.
Has anyone every experienced something like this? What worked? What didn't?
Nolen is still not sleeping. We are no closer to having Nolen sleep through the night that the night we brought him home from the hospital. Actually, we are making steps in the wrong direction.
I feel like I am failing as a parent. I want my children to be well and enjoy their childhood and I really want to enjoy parenthood.
Can someone come and take over for me and get my kids well and happy and sleeping... I promise I will come back as soon as the hard stuff is over.
I really love my boys. There is nothing easy about my trial right now. I did read a book called, "the one minute teacher" and it has opened my eyes to making goals and achieving them. Today, I will change my attitude and keep on keepin' on.
Happy blogging!

5 comments:

Paul and Aliisa said...

So sorry about Edward...that is very painful and hard. I think the tubes will cure the problem. I had them at age 5 because of earaches as well. If I lived closer I would be glad to take over for you. We will definately take a trip to see you guys sometime...once our lives are a little more calm...is that possible? Love ya!

Jake and Mal said...

Sorry things are hard right now! But at least you know what's going on with Edward and I'm sure it'll get better once he has the tubes. We hope things get better soon :) You can make it!

Andrea said...

Oh, Julie, I'm sorry! Want to drop them off one morning next week so you can have a break?

Sapphire has just entered a stage of misbehaving, so we've had to send her to timeout a lot more . . . when Quartz was a toddler and hitting Onyx I would say, "No hitting; it hurts!" and lock myself and the baby in a room and not come out for a few minutes (usually until I had calmed down!). Then when everyone had forgot about it I'd try and do something fun with Quartz. Usually what they want is attention; this way you don't give it to them until they are back to behaving well.

Heidi said...

I know it's tough, but just keep going! Gracie never slept, either, and I remember it was horrible and I always felt like I was at the end of my rope. Because I was a newly single mom during that time, I eventually just made her cry it out every time. It took A LOT longer than what the books and experts say it should take, and that's what made me realize that every child is different. I felt like an awful mom, making her cry it out every night. But, I realized that I would not be able to be a good mom (and a sane one, too!) if I didn't do it that way. She cried it out every night for what seems like at least a month, and every night it was about 30 minutes or more of crying, but she eventually got it, and we moved on. You have to do what is best for the both of you. Don't let the "mommy guilt" consume you, because this too shall pass. I promise! :) P.S.--Gracie was also my child who got ear infections all the time; at times they would come back even when she was still on antibiotics from the previous infection! She eventually had tubes put in, and that seemed to make it better. Hopefully, that's all Edward needs! Crossing my fingers for you! :)

megs said...

I'm so sorry for this trial you are facing - it can be so hard when your baby is in pain and you are so helpless. I have great faith that the tubes will help, and I really believe that it will also help him calm down. When anyone is in pain they are more likely to snap out at others, and I think there may also be a link between not hearing and the frustration at the lack of communication. Poor babies.

But I have no doubt you are an amazing mother, I see their happy faces and know from reading your thoughts in this blog how much love you have for them. It just doesn't always change the Way Things Are. I know that Minuet's sleeping was never good, and I just decided that it wasn't me. I know Babywise disagrees, but I truly believe in the high need child (Dr. Sears theory) that just wants more from you. Good luck on giving what you have, and setting safe and healthy boundaries. You are totally going to raise amazing men.