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6 And I was led by the Spirit, not knowingbeforehand the things which I should do.

7 Nevertheless I went forth...

1st Nephi Chapter 4:6-7

"Make sure they remember joy yesterday, experience joy today, and anticipate joy tomorrow."


Motherhood Mission Statement

To provide a loving environment that is centered around God and His commandments while effectively teaching my children to love, honor, and respect all Men no matter the race, creed, or background.

Click on Nolen's name to hear our amazing journey through autism.

Thursday, April 23, 2015

Therapy

I've been thinking about starting a gofundme campaign.  HA!  It has been a rough three weeks and if you aren't up to hearing the real story, then press on and read another blog post. 
You know those moments when you step outside of your body and you know you are doing something stupid but you can't seem to stop yourself?  That just happened to me.  And in so doing, I lost my very best friend.  My sister.
Recovery has been hard and a long painful process.  We had a huge fight.  Possibly our biggest fight ever.  It was epic. I will spare you the details but I learned I still do not have control of my "Skousen Temper".  Will I ever?  Should I give up the fight to find inner peace? Maybe I should see a therapist. 
On that very same day, my gynecologist called with some possible bad news.  More testing will need to be done to determine if it is in fact bad news or just a scare. 
I finally heard back from Bridges, the company that does Nolen's ABA therapy.  We owe $4000 more just for last year's daily therapy sessions.  Last summer we paid $7000.  None of that money includes this year.  That will be at least another $6500.  Where will I come up with the money to pay for all this necessary therapy.  Oh, and if you are a first time reader and think, just get insurance, Nolen has TWO insurance policies.  We pay $150 a month just for his second policy. 
Autism is expensive.
ABA therapy has really changed Nolen's life. 
I am asked constantly what we did to help him be successful. 
The answer, $20,000 of medical bills.  That's what we did.
Can we please pick the diseases our kids get?  That might be a little easier for me.  Alas, life is not easy.  I have determined that the key to life is:
"LEARNING TO DEAL WITH DISSAPOINTMENT" 
Because there will be daily disappointments in your life and if you can deal with that, you will find more joy and happiness in the things that do work out.  I am on a new path.  I joined the expensive gym again.  I need a place where I can go to find peace.  Most people go to church. I find peace at the gym.  No one to impress.  No one to talk to.  Just me.  Alone. 
I spoke with Edward's teacher today at parent teacher conference and she agreed with everything I said about the classroom.  Why is school so strict?  Why are we forcing our kids to be silent when they are learning.  Let them be FREE!  I should homeschool.  I should really just homeschool my kids. 
Yesterday, Nolen fell off a play house and hit his head on some river rock.  He did act a bit strange and wanted to fall asleep.  He hid his eyes from light.  I am pretty sure he had a minor concussion.  Today, he had his first ever bloody nose. 
I will end this crazy rant with a story. 
 A few weeks ago, I went into the shed to dig out some stuff for my garden.  I noticed that a bag of grass seed was chewed through.  I, naturally thought it was a rat.  After digging around for a while a mouse jumped out of the folded up kiddie pool and ran toward the house.  I came out after the mouse screaming for Stephen to close the patio door.  He ran outside with a broom and tried smashing the mouse.  Then he decided to catch her.  He caught her and we threw her over the back wall into traffic.  Figuring she would get squished by a car.  She didn't.  She climbed back over the wall and started to head back toward the shed.  So Stephen tried to catch her again.  While he was catching her, I figured I would drag out the pool and see the damage to the shed.  Then I noticed a bunch of holes in the pool.  So I started dragging it to the garbage can.  That's when I heard them.  Three baby mice all wrapped up in a nest inside the chewed up pool.  I saw the neighbors cat and tried to feed the baby mice to the cat, but he wouldn't eat them.  Stephen caught the mom mouse and we picked up the baby mice then took them to the desert where we let them go. 
All in all, our lives are great.  We want for nothing.  We spend countless hours drawing snakes and geckos.  We play hard.  We are a family.  We love each other.  As a mother, I would do anything for my children.  Anything.  That includes taking on any challenge set in my path.  I will conquer  my trials, possibly not with a smile, but I will conquer. 
Every person I meet is fighting the good fight.  We are pushing ahead of adversity.  We are trying to better our future and our kids future.  We are invested in the betterment of the human experience.
Here's to a better, but not necessarily easier, tomorrow. 
To top off today's adventures, Edward barfed in the car on the way home from a church meeting tonight.  Oh the joys of parenting.

1 comment:

Heidi said...

I'm sorry you're having such a rough time with life lately. :( The medical bills for Nolen are huge, and I think that is crazy that insurance companies don't have better options for kids like him. I was watching a documentary on 20/20 the other night about autistic kids growing out of the system when they turn 21, and all of their help in school just disappears. It was such an eye opener and just so sad.

I had just recently gone through issues with my GYN, too! My biopsy came back cancer free this time, though, so hopefully you will get that kind of news, as well. :)

Keep your chin up, Jules! You are an amazing person and I think about you and pray for you often.