As We Climb Deeper into the Rabbit hole...

I can no longer read the news. 

It's horrifying.

I don't want to be blind and deaf to the struggles of the world but, WOW, we are in a really bad place.

Today is BLACKOUTTUESDAY.

I stand with the protesters.  I stand with BLACKLIVESMATTER.

I just can not believe where we have gone in society over the last six months.  So many things have changed so drastically.  On a side note, I went to vote today and couldn't because I didn't select a party affiliation.  UGH!  So, my ability to not pick a side ultimately silenced my voice.  Lesson learned.

Where do I stand right now?

Masks do not prevent the spread of covid-19.

Covid-19 is not looking to be as terrible as we first thought.

Businesses should be able to open and follow strict cleaning guidelines. 

All lives matter but more specifically ALL BLACK LIVES MATTER.

The racism in our country is not getting better.  We are a shameful people who have not learned to just LOVE ONE ANOTHER!

It's sad.

All too sad.

How do I make changes?

Vote, well I failed on that.

Teach my children to love one another.

That's it.

A Hike with the Parents

My parents moved to a new house a few weeks ago.  They live right next to the volcano cliffs and we decided to run around their neighborhood then hike the volcano near their house.  It was awesome.  My parents made it to the top.  I told them they should hike it every day for exercise.  They laughed.

Quarantine Day 68

Today, things are starting to go a little bit back toward the normal side of life.  This is our last week of official home school, however; we will have to do some school through the summer.  Edward isn't quite finished with his math and language arts yet.

We woke up early and met some friends to run the hill behind Rio Rancho High School, then we went for bagels and laughed and played.

So, if this is what our new normal is, then we are happy.  I am ready to get out and live the beautiful life I have created.  I do not want to keep sitting at home doing virtually nothing while the best years of my life pass me by! 

There, I said it. 

I am done with Quarantine. 

Mountain Biking and Swimming

We have been doing plenty of sitting around these last few weeks, and we have also been doing plenty of running, biking, and we just added swimming at the river. 

Stephen and I went up to the trails in the mountains for an extremely difficult mountain biking session.  I almost cried.  It was so tough.  We went the backward way on a trail and barely made it up the mountain.  Coming back down was just as difficult.  The rocks were every where.  Tiny, big, small, gravel, it didn't matter, the rocks made the trail so extremely difficult.  When we finally got to the end I was relieved.  I had ran that morning, then lifted weights, and then biked!

The boys and I have been doing some trail running on Saturday's.  It has been a great stress relief.  I am so glad Edward is going us, even though I get frustrated that he walks.  I don't want to see my boys health plummet because of COVID-19.  We are an active family.  We haven't found many creatures yet on our adventures but here's hoping this Saturday we will find something fun.

Lastly, we hiked down to the river to let the boys swim.  It was refreshing.  I hope they open the pools this summer.  I hope we can have a semi-normal summer in spite of all the troubles.  I would love for things to just jump back to normal once the lock down ends.  I know that won't happen but I am hopeful of some semblance of normalcy soon. 

I bought some funny masks for us to wear to costco when we finally do get to leave the house!  HA! We all had a good laugh.

Stephen and I have been playing Animal Crossing for our down time.  It has been relaxing and fun.

Day 53

Oh my, how time has changed so many things.  Tempers run high with every person.  We are sick.  We are tired.  We are sick and tired of being told what to do.  I am surprised the people of the United States have stayed quiet for so long.  Quarantine is wearing on every single person.

I realize now that I would not have survived in a concentration camp, or in prison, or trapped in someones home as a kidnapped prisoner.  

No, I wouldn't make it.

 I would have to get out. I find it hard to just wait. Just sit here and wait.

I do not like the world to pass me by while I just sit here.

So, what have we been doing?

Well, the same as usual.  Zoom lessons. Biking.  Running.  Playing family games.

We are trying to understand each other, but there are things we completely disagree on.  There was a time I drank all the koolaide.  There was a time when I would have just trusted what others said to be true.  Now, I do not.

The boys are really starting to suffer.  The miss their friends. They miss doing all the things we did before COVID-19.  There is hope that a vaccine will change things and we can get back to life as usual; however, I am extremely skeptical.  A vaccine requires trust.  We are really loosing trust in our government right now.  

What on Earth have we been doing during Quarantine?

Oh, the endless days of being stuck at home with no where to go and virtually nothing to do.  How we would have craved these days last fall, except, that's what January is for... lazy days of doing nothing.  Well those days are here to stay.  We are not going anywhere until May15th.   That feels like forever.  By the time that day comes, we will have been in quarantine for 8 weeks.  Yes, 8 weeks.

I can't even believe it.  I just can't.

So many things have changed.  Covid-19 is breaking people.  Relationships between friends and neighbors are beginning to crumble.  We are truly seeing different sides of people.  There are the people who want their freedoms back and the people who want us to stay locked up for the entire summer.  None of this is right.

We have prayed. 

We have fasted.

We have called upon God.

Yet, still we suffer.

So much suffering right now.  Between lost jobs, seriously sick covid-19 patients, no money, and suicide, things are not looking great.  Even me, EVEN ME, I am trying to hold it together but some day's I just want to run out and do all the errands that need to be done.  

We have been so good.  I have only been going to the grocery store once every other week and staying home at all costs.  We do go out for bike rides and for a run every single day.  That is not new.  We did that all before covid-19 hit.

Here lies the problem.  We are ready to get back to living our lives even if it means risking our lives.  There are many people who believe this will pass if we just keep waiting.  AND maybe it will but it most likely will not.  The pain and suffering will continue as it always had through out time.  People will die.  People will suffer.  It is a part of LIFE!

I digress.

I really hope that if we stay put for three more weeks that we will see a positive change in the virus.  I am praying and praying and praying.  I don't think covid-19 is going away so we must find a new normal.  My gym announced that they will be taking temperatures of EVERY single person who comes into the gym every day.  They are also requiring a reservation before showing up.  

Well at least we will be able to swim. 

So far, it looks like summer is cancelled.  And that depresses me.  Last summer I tore my calf muscle and spent much of the summer in a boot.  I was looking forward to this summer as redemption and a way to find personal growth.  I am not looking forward to sitting around and spending my days inside while the beautiful weather passes us by.

I can't.

I have lost TEN piano students due to covid-19 hysteria.  Stephen's hours have been cut significantly.  We have some savings but it wont last long.  If we are suffering, I know many more are in worse situations.  I am trying not to think of the students who I won't see until "maybe" August.  

Ugh.

Well despite all the ugliness in the world, we continue to live as normal of a life as possible.  We have been biking, running, and playing lots of family games.  We even finished the moon puzzle!

My parents are living with me for at least another week before their rental is ready.  I am so glad they are here.  It makes the time pass.  

A Dog for a Day

Sharla drove through town today and left us a dog! 

We absolutely love it when we get to babysit a dog for a little while.  We get to pretend like we are dog owners with out all the responsibility.  

 I also ordered a moon 500 piece puzzle for the boys to work on when they say they are bored.  I hope we can get it finished this month while we are stuck inside during the quarantine.