Golf, Concert, and more hiking

 Not sure if I said this anywhere in the last few posts, but I was planning to hike the Grand Canyon this October, but it burnt down, so that plan is completely off the table now.  I have been hiking all summer to prepare and now I need to make new plans.  I also learned that I have a severely deviated septum and need surgery September 4 to fix it.  I am not excited.  

Tuesday was my friend, Jeremy Brumley's birthday, so we went golfing with him to celebrate.  We golfed at Sandia Resort and it was beautiful.  I did terrible but really had one of the best games of my life.  That is saying something.  Stephen and I just talked and laughed the hole morning.  After golf, I had to work then I met up with my friend Spencer Morgan to attend the Jimmy Eat World concert.  It was so so so good!! I love that band.  Brings back so may memories.  I made Stephen go with me to their concert when we were dating 20 years ago!  After Jimmy sang, another band, The Offspring, came on and sounded awful!!  I didn't even want to sit and listen as the main singer couldn't hit the notes.  He sounded tired and his voice was worn out.  Too bad because I do like some of their music.   

Running is the one thing in my life that has truly brought me so much joy.  I have worked hard to become a faster runner over the years.  It has been a long journey and I am so glad I started running in college.  It has helped me stay in shape and given me the best body I could ask for at 44.  I am truly blessed.  I get mad at my body sometimes but I am truly grateful that I am strong and beautiful.  

And, while I'm being perfectly honest, my husband has the best body of any 45 year old out there.  He seriously gives me butterflies when I think about him.  Even all these years later.  I adore him.  

 

Learning to love someone

 

 I thought for the last twenty years I had truly learned to love Stephen. I thought I had loved as deeply as I could but I was wrong. I have only nearly touched the surface of what it feels like to truly love someone. He has taught me so much in what it really means to love deeply and be selfless. I learn selflessness daily and it is so hard. I want to be so selfish. I can feel myself being pulled in so many different directions.  I am truly blessed to have spent the last nearly 20 years of my life with such a forgiving, loving, and kind man.  No matter where we go from here, these have been the best years of my life.  

Sixteen and a half

 

Oh my sweet Edward is 16 and a half today.  My sweet, sweet baby boy who made me a mother is growing up and, wow, it is hard to take.  He is so independent and loves his alone time.  He still loves airsoft and wants to spend all this time and money on guns.  He is kind, loving, and thoughtful.  He works hard in school and loves to play computer games with his friends.  I just adore this boy.  He is amazing and I am proud of him.  Time is a thief.  

For his half birthday, we got sushi and he let me take his photo!   

 

Wibit, Escape, and Jiu Jitsu

 We are full blown in to August now and so many things have happened.  Nolen and I went to the wibit on Saturday and had a blast.  We ran around the slipper bounce house and then went over to the blue hole to jump in the freezing water.  It was fun to sit with our ward and the youth as we all soaked up some sun.  However, the bishop pulled me aside and let me know he was releasing me as young women's president.  I cried my eyes out.  I am so devastated.  I love the youth and I love my calling.  I am having such a hard time letting it all go.  I know Pamela Tracey will do an amazing job; however, I am still so sad it is over. It is hard to express my love for the young women in my ward in simple words.  They have left a lasting impression on me.  I will think of them for all the rest of my life.  I feel like the last six years in young women's have been some of the best years of my life.  I know I can never return to this time in my life but I am trying to soak up as much of it as I can.  I love the youth.    

After I got home from the wibit, Stephen decided he was ready to start hanging out with his work friends.  Wow, what a huge change!!  This was needed and necessary in our marriage.  Stephen has been living in a dark hole for the last 10 years at least.  It has been hard for him to crawl out of his depression.  I am so over joyed he is trying to turn over a new leaf.  I have pushed and pushed for change, but really a person just has to choose when they are ready.  The escape room was easy and we had fun figuring out the puzzles.  Afterward, Stephen and I went to get dessert at Flying Star and it was not worth the high price.  I could make something much tastier an cheaper! 

Nolen had his second Jiu Jitsu tournament of his life this last weekend.  He did so well.  He lost his first match but won his second match.  He has worked hard this last year tying to learn how to fight.  He is bigger and stronger now so hopefully, he will only get better! 

The new leaf continues with more time with Stephen.  He has wanted to hang out and do something nearly every single day.  It is so refreshing and I love it.  My heart is singing with love.  I almost feel overwhelmed because I am used to doing so many things on my own and now Stephen wants to join in.  I want this feeling to last forever.  I love him.  I adore him.  I have waited for this Stephen to return for so so so many years.  I am so glad he is finally feeling better.  The last year was so hard and he fought his way through addiction and mental health struggles caused by his job.  The stress of being an air traffic controller is intense.  

 

Back to school for Nolen

 After six years of home school, it is now time for Nolen to return.  He has been home with me every day for so long.  I literally do not know what to do with out him.  We have done so much together.  I adore this sweet little boy.  He melts my heart.  After a lot of discussion, we decided to send Nolen to High school.  It will be a huge adjustment but I know he will become the man he needs to become because of this choice.  May he meet new friends and have some fun life long experiences.

 

End of summer

 Why does the summer have to end?!  Why can't we just have endless summer days for the rest of our lives?  I want to live somewhere where summer is always and forever.  That is my heaven.  No real work to do and good weather all year long.  Dreams!  We finished our summer out with a quick swim at Craig and Blair's and I got an allergy test to figure out what is going on with my throat.  

I found out I am allergic to Cedar and Juniper.  Ugh!  And that those allergies could easily have caused my terrible sore throats.  Thankfully I am not allergic to the dog.  But she DOES have a ton of dog hair left everywhere around the house.  I kicked her out of my bedroom because I just can't take the dog hair another minute.