To provide a loving environment that is centered around God and His commandments while effectively teaching my children to love, honor, and respect all Men no matter the race, creed, or background.
Oh 2021. I had high hopes. This is the year of my 40th birthday. I am not going to let you be another 2020. We had some really great times in 2020 but I really want 2021 to be a year we got to do normal stuff again. It really isn't looking like that, though. It appears to be another shutdown year for New Mexican's and that is really sad.
Either way, we are making the best of 2021. Nolen made some Shoo-fly muffins for school on Wednesday and only took one bight. I think I ate most of them. HA! The boys tried a martial arts class and loved it, of course. So we may completely switch gears and do some new stuff. Maybe Tennis? Whose to say?
My sweet baby boy was born 12 years ago. 11:19 PM. I will never forget that day. He came into this world the hardest way possible. He hasn't changed a bit. He is stubborn to the core. Edward knows what he wants and does things on his own time table. This is how he came to me. His personality was preprogrammed. At first, I really didn't understand him. He was difficult at times. Now, twelve beautiful years later, I can understand his motives and how to get him to come out of his shell. He loves to stay at home. He loves to be alone. He is extremely intelligent. He is fiercely loyal. He hates to lose. He hates to try if he even thinks there is a chance he will lose. He feels things deeply. He loves exactness. He can be so easy going about most things, but when he puts his foot down, he really puts his foot down.
I love this boy. I love raising boys. I love being a boy mom. I love everything about the messes, the mud, the noise, the smells, and the hugs. I love this boy. I love that he is becoming a man. I love that he looks just like Stephen. I love that he uses his intelligence for good. I love him. I have 6 years left to raise a good man. Then my work is done. It is up to him to fill in the cracks that I missed. It is almost too much for me to take thinking that he will he will move out someday. My heart cries with the knowledge that I will have an empty home when my boys grow up.
This birthday was a bit different because of Covid-19. We are still in a bit of a lock down state. There are not many things kids can do out side of the house. So, we took the boys skiing on Tuesday to celebrate as a family. Then, today, Edward invited his two best friends over for an all day celebration. His friend Kyle Barker came over this morning and stayed until 5:00 then his friend Titus Carnahan came over from 6:00 to 11:00. The boys are still playing as I type this blog post. They are shooting nerf guns and listening to music from the Disney movie "Soul". It is a magical time in their lives. I am so blessed to be a mother. It is the most fulfilling and satisfying role I play in this life. I am absolutely blessed to be a mother.
Today, we took the boys skiing. It was awesome! We actually drove up to Taos on Monday night because a snow storm was blowing in and we wanted to avoid driving on icy roads. We stayed at the Sagebrush inn right out side of Taos. It was pretty nice for an old stinky hotel. We also got a good rate on a junior suit! It was two rooms with a kiva fire place, refrigerator, and a microwave. We grabbed dinner at a nearby Mexican food restaurant then played Skipbo with the boys. We all fell asleep around 10:00 PM. I was exhausted!
We woke up around seven, ate the breakfast I brought and then hit the road to Sipapu! I was a little nervous because they have a lot of COVID safe rules in place. I wasn’t sure if I reserved the right stuff; rentals and lift tickets, because their site wasn’t the easiest to navigate. However, I was wrong. Everything went smoothly! The check-in was easy, the rentals were perfect, and the snow was awesome! We couldn’t have asked for a better first time skiing.
Now, I have been skiing at least twice in my life and snowboarding once. All of this was more than 20 years ago. We could have gone skiing as a family sooner, but it was me who was hesitant. Stephen was a ski instructor in high school! So he really knows his stuff. It is sort of my fault that we have never been. Stephen was so excited. I think, at first, he was a little worried the snow would be terrible, or the rentals would hurt our feet, or the boys would hate it. Boy, were we wrong!
We went to the first magic carpet and went up and down it 25-30 times. It was so easy. Too easy. No one fell. Not once. Then we moved over to the second magic carpet. I didn’t go up. I’m not ready. But, the boys went up and fell. A lot. They came down frustrated and angry. I suggested we get some lunch and take a break. Stephen took that opportunity to go up to the top of the ski lift and ski by himself. He came back so happy. I haven’t seen him that happy in years. The boys ate and rested, then they were ready to go again. What a difference food makes! They went on the second bunny hill two more times and only fell a few times. Edward wanted to stick to the bunny hills, but Nolen was ready to go up the ski lift! He nailed it. He loved it so much he went again!
Well, as a parent, you don’t know what to expect when your kids try something new. They are going to get frustrated and it will be hard. I prayed as Edward came down the third time on the hard bunny hill that it would get easier, but then I realized that was a foolish prayer. I don’t want him to fall and I want skiing to be easy for him, but I also want to see him succeed after he has failed and tried and tried again. That makes him a stronger person in the long run. If it was all too easy, what would he have learned? If I want him to grow up and learn some tough life lessons, I have to watch him fail.
Edward and I spent some time at the easy bunny hill while Nolen and Stephen went up the ski lift. Edward fell and I didn’t help him up. He was so frustrated. I kept cheering him on but finally had to walk away. He had to get up in his own. Then, the very next run I did, I fell! It was so hard to get up! I almost laughed at myself because no one was there to help me up. And Edward was able to get up in his own then watch me seriously struggle to get up by myself. I am so glad he had the opportunity to see me struggle right after he had struggled to get up. Life lessons on the ski hill.
It was truly an awesome day. One to remember for a life time.
Sometimes, I just can't think about them growing up and leaving the house.
It hurts.
Today, I was sitting at church and thought about having to go alone in just 8 years. I thought about Nolen and I just going to church together in 6 years with out Edward. I thought about my life as a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints and how it will change over time. I am trying to live in the moments I am given but the future is always on my mind. Sometimes, I can't believe my children are 10 and 11 already. I feel time slipping away from me and I can't hold on to it. Trust me, I try.
Home school is going great and I think these are the years they will remember the most. I saw their blankets thrown across the couch and had to snap a photo to remember they are still so little. So much growth will happen in the next 6-8 years. So much will change. I just want to hold on to this moment. Just a little longer.
