It's About to get a Whole Lot Worse Before it gets Better!

It's official: 2019 is not my year.

I have bad luck.  

This is true.  

I have worked hard to change my luck over the last 20 years; however, this year it all caught up to me.  I just haven't been thinking clearly at all this year.  

I have recently made some mistakes when paying my bills.  I just can't get it right.  I am not paying attention.  I am trying to do too many things at once and I am doing non of them well.  

I hate having too many things on my plate because I can't seem to get them done correctly.  I reset my life in September but it has still been a rocky road.  

We bought a new car.  I had to make the first payment October 15th.  I thought I did.  Turns out, I didn't.  I used an account we closed at the beginning of the year to make the payment.  SO, I went on to make the payment again.  I transferred the money from the wrong account.  Now we don't have any money in our joint account.  

I am unsure what I am doing but I just can't get anything quite right.  I feel like quitting today.  I totally blew up at Stephen two nights ago.  I felt like he intentionally ignored me, but he didn't.  He was just living his normal life and I took it personally.  I wish I could get it together.  I don't know if this all has to do with this major hormone switch I am going through this year but I am going to blame it all on that event.  

I am finally losing the weight I gained but it has been a serious battle.  

This isn't the worst year of my life, but this has been a tough year.  I am hoping 2020 will just be a regular year.  We found out when our heater broke last March that they didn't replace the gas valve properly so we have to have it replaced AGAIN for another $380 dollars!  Yeah, you heard me correctly!

One step at a time.  I take this life one step at a time.  I just keep marching forward hoping that the next step I take isn't in a trap.  AND if it is a trap I have the tools to dig myself out.  Ugh.

I just wanted to record this mess so that when I have good times I will seriously rejoice.

This is me, pushing the reset button AGAIN!