The days are slow without Stephen here. I miss him so much. I am really wondering if we did the right thing. I'll never know right from wrong but this is the choice we made and this is the direction we are headed with our family. I feel like we really broke our family up. I don't know if this was the right thing to do for our boys but I also know Stephen was really ready for a change in his life. This is also the best thing we can do for our future finances. So whether this is right or wrong, we are doing it.
Stephen flew home for the weekend to celebrate Halloween with us. It was wonderful. I spent the last week running and going through old photos. I probably should only do that if I am looking to cry and be sad about my mom being gone. I found some old photos that I will cherish for the rest of my life.
Wednesday was the ward trunk or treat and we all dressed up as Military men. Nolen built a tank out of boxes and Edward and I wore our guns. It was so fun. I say, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em. My boys loved that I dressed up with them on their terms this year. I really should have been doing that all along, but I was too stubborn and wanted them to dress up as my theme. They do not like that. Life lesson learned.
Thursday, my friend Andrea Landaker asked me to hike with her to see fall colors. I, of course, said yes! I went on my bike ride with Mary and met Andrea around 10. Well she tricked me and we did NOT go to fall colors. I was under the assumption we would do an easy hike and just look at the trees. BOY WAS I WRONG! We went to Cabazon and ROCK CLIMBED! It was exhilirating and fun and scary. She is so good at it and I am so bad at it! We didn't use a harness but we did have helmets on. It was fun and my hands were shaking the entire time. Am I glad I did it? YES! But do I want to die that way, NO! I think I'm a pretty brave person but somehow those rocks made me nervous.
Stephen flew in that night and Friday we literally hit the ground running. We went for a run Friday, played pickle ball with the boys, and attended TWO Halloween parties. It was fun and exhausting.
Saturday, I went for a run with my friend Pam Martinez and then Stephen and I went to Nolen's Jiu Jitsu gym to watch him get an award. He loves going to the gym and has thrived in this environment Aftward we went to lunch with Craig and Blair at our favorite spot, Slice and Dice. It was delicious. I actually got mad because Stephen won the game and I was too tired to figure out how to play. Why am I so competitive sometimes? I'll never know. We went trick or treating with Nolen and helped hand out candy at my dad's house that evening. Edward had to work so he missed all the fun. Sunday, we went to brunch with out friends and jumped in their hot tub. We got completely soaked by the rain that blew in an hour into our soak. It was so much fun! I took Stephen to the airport that evening and said goodbye. As he walked to the airport doors I really thought about how much I miss him when he is gone. I'll see him Thursday but that feels like a million years away.
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